A link to an actual web site would be a good start. While Facebook has its benefits, not everyone uses it so you're really limiting yourself by not having a self-hosted, properly designed web site available for potential readers. . . This can be simplified:. . "Received the Banneker/Key Scholarship from the University of Maryland, College Park in part due to the Language of Magic created for A Broken World and in part due to the idea behind the screenplay.". . Keep it short and simple:. . "Banneker/Key Scholarship, University of Maryland, College Park - Language of Magic and contribution to screenplay (sorry, this is terrible on my part). . I'd also remove the note about the drawings. Not something most people would care to know about the why behind it.. . Lastly:. . "When he is not focusing on school work, he often finds time to write.". . I think that is a bit obvious considering you are a writer. Give your reader a bit more background about your writing experience, what inspires you, that kind of thing.